Asking Questions

Asking Questions

Importance of Asking Questions

Are you a person who asks lots of questions, or very few questions?  When my son was in secondary school one of the teachers suggested to me that he should ask more questions.  When we enquired with our son on why he does not ask more questions, he stated “I know what I need to do so why ask questions?”

There are two reasons for asking questions.  The first is to find out information.  In my NLP coaching and Hypnotherapy business I find a number of my clients just don’t ask for what they want or need to know.  They are aware that they need some information but feel uncomfortable in asking because they only think about what the other person will say. They make up negative ideas about what the other person may think and so they remain silent.

When people do not ask questions, it is known as a limiting behaviour.  This behaviour usually indicates that they have not actually learned how to ask for what you want.

When you think about asking questions, how do you feel?  Do you feel confident in yourself or are you nervous, scared or tentative.  These feelings can impact both whether you ask a question and how you ask the question.

To overcome problems in asking questions, you need to learn how to ask questions and put any uncomfortable feelings aside.  Then you can discover what you need or want to know, which will build your confidence.

In my NLP training sessions or coaching sessions, I help people who are struggling with communication to model good communicators.  In doing this, the students or clients are able to recognise the important trait of having curiosity, so you deal with any uncomfortable feelings so you can ask what you are curious about.

A fantastic book that explained the ideas behind asking questions and how to ask questions is Aladdin Factor by Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield. After reading this book I became more aware of the types of questions I was asking and started to ask a lot more questions instead of just assuming. Though being curious, I began to use my ability to ask to for information and to gain more clarity on what I knew or assumed.  This meant that I began to understand the person I was talking to in a much better way.

The second reason for asking is to encourage two way communication.  We all know people who just talk and talk and we listen, may agree or not agree, but it is only one way.  When both parties add their ability to ask questions for more information or to clarify what they know, the communication becomes two way.  In other words we are really beginning to build a relationship with the other person.

How many times have you walked away from a conversation and thought it was a waste of time?  In these situations, how many questions did you ask, and more importantly, how many questions did you think of and not ask?  Asking, therefore, is not just for one person.  Whether it be in a business meeting, social event, or even at the football, it is a great idea to ask questions when you have them.

Communication is very important if you want to develop a relationship with others. You can do this by asking more questions.

Alternatively, if you need help with asking questions, I can help you through our Communication Coaching Programs.  At The Eyes of Horus, we have 3 or 6 months programs available.  To find out more please email David at:, or visit:


David Donahoo

Comments are closed.