What are you Hiding

What are you hiding?

While on my walk, I was listening to Marianne Williamson. She asked the question “what are you hiding?”  I felt challenged as I heard this question.  My ego wants to say nothing is hiding. But deep down I was aware of hiding a variety of facts, thoughts, feelings, fears, dreams and wishes.  Knowing they are there means that I have made a choice or decision to keep them there rather than let them out.

In my first marriage, which only lasted 4 years, I was scared of letting out my feelings, fears and dreams in case my wife thought it was crazy and I would feel foolish.  At that time, I kept as much hidden as I could.  In looking back, I see that this originated from my secondary school, where I found it hard to fit in and was often teased and taunted by others in the class.  So, rather than dealing with that issue, I hid it. This was one of the numerous reasons why my marriage ended up failing.

Since then I have learned to stop hiding everything. As I would tell others more about myself and my thoughts, I discovered that you can say too much at times and other people  don’t always want to know. Over time I found a mid-point.  During my current marriage, which has lasted over 25 years, I have learned how to stay around that mid-point of not giving out too much, while letting out what is relevant for my family and others to know.

Let me give you an example of this. Some of you would be aware that I have an ability to talk to spirits, as a medium, but some of you may not know this about me.  It is not a fact that I hide nowadays. However, I am aware that it is not a good idea to share it with everyone, since many people are challenged by this ability and don’t want to admit that it can occur.

In your life, do you have facts, information, feelings, fear or dreams about yourself that it is worth letting a few people know so they can understand you better?  You do not have to broadcast it out to the world.

So, getting back to Marianne’s question, I would suggest an alternative way of approaching the question is to ask yourself “what are you hiding that others need to know about?”  By phrasing the question this way, you have to think about specific information and make a conscious decision on whether you tell it to others or keep it hidden inside you.

How do you make that decision?  A process that I do, that I learned over time, is to have two columns of information: 1) what are the benefits of telling another person about this and 2) what do I feel threatened by if I tell another person about this; Go through the list and make a decision on whether or not to tell someone about what is happening for you.

I used this idea the others day with my wife, who is also my financial bookkeeper for my business.  We were discussing whether to have my PC fixed or buy a new one.  We had decided to put my current PC in to be fixed and if could not be fixed, I would then get a new one.  After this discussion, I saw an email for a 15% discount on PC’s at JB Hi-Fi.  I thought this would be a good way to get a new PC at a cheaper price, as I do like buying new technology.  But I knew that I had agreed to get my current PC fixed. I was unsure if I should discuss the 15% offer with my wife.

In thinking about the benefits of telling her verse hiding the fact and maybe feeling annoyed and frustrated that I could not buy a new PC, I decided it would be better to tell her and let her give me her suggestions. I did have an expectation that she would say No to a new PC, until after the current one is returned.  I explained my ideas and about the discount to her. She thought about it and said No, as I expected.  After this I felt OK, because I knew it fitted in with what we had previously discussed. I did not hide this new information, but explained it and was able to accept her decision. I had stopped myself from feeling annoyed and frustrated because I had not hidden my desire for a new PC, and was able to accept her more logical approach.

In your life, what are the facts, thoughts, feelings, fears, dreams or wishes that you are hiding.  Why not get out a piece of paper and rule a line down the middle. On the top of one column write benefits and on the other column write what threatens you about telling someone.  Then for each specific fact complete the two columns.  Next, rule out the items on the list that are not very meaningful to you.  What you are left with, is the main reasons why you should broadcast the information verse hide it.  This now comes down to you making a conscious choice on what to do.

As you practice this method, you will find it gets easier and easier to decide whether to talk about what is happening inside you or to keep it hidden, consciously.

Have a great day achieving your success.

Cheers,

David Donahoo

Coach, NLP Trainer, and Hypnotherapist

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